What Ruth Meant to Me

      Ruth is mourned by many people, not the least of which is her extended family and circle of friends.  She leaves behind two sons and their families, who remember her as being tireless in her support, love and compassion throughout their lives.  Sanford was her one true love. They met in 1943 at college and were married for 63 years.  Ruth struggled at the end of her life, to stay alive to support her ailing husband.  This is so in keeping with who Ruth was as a person…always putting the needs of others first.  Hers was a life of service and dedication to the betterment and support of others’ lives.

      The last time I saw Ruth was just a few days before her graduating out of this life.  She was in the hospital, in terrible pain.  What moves me so deeply, is that Ruth, in excruciating pain, and knowing she is at the very end of her life because she made the choice to terminate dialysis, found the time and energy to give me her support.  In her last conversation with me, I heard not a mention of herself, not a mention of her pain.  She was saying good-bye to me; she was taking her leave, for all time.  She told me: “You are a good woman; I am so glad that Craig found you.”  She told me that the important thing in life is to enjoy life to the very fullest. 

      10 days later at her funeral and wake, both of her sons, Mark and Kim, stood to speak to us of their beloved mother, Ruth.   Kim captured the essence of Ruth in explaining that she had the ability, and she did this on a regular basis, to look into the very depths of your very soul.  She would see where you were hurting, and she would tell you what you needed to hear, in order to heal your life, to resolve your current difficulties.  You would come away amazed at the insight of this woman.  A great example of this is when my husband, Craig was in rabbinical school in Israel, in the early 1980’s.  He had won a scholarship with all expenses paid by his congregation and thus felt very obligated to follow through on this mission.  However, after spending some time in war-torn Israel, he came to the realization that this was not the right path for him.  To change course at this time was a momentous decision and Craig felt he would be letting down a lot of people.  Of all the family members, who did Craig turn to for guidance? It was Ruth.  Craig called Ruth long distance from Israel, all the way to California, in hopes of gaining some clarity in this terrible dilemma.  Although Ruth did not tell Craig what decision to make, she validated his feelings and let him know it was Ok to make the choice he was leaning towards.  In addition, she gave him that grain of insight that only Ruth could see…she told him that if he did not follow through with this particular course of action in his life, “you will have to do something difficult”.  Craig is still working on that right now, and he feels it was exactly what he needed to hear.  Only Ruth could have come up with this gem of wisdom. 

     This brings us with what we are left with today….which is the loss of Ruth.  There are no words adequate to describe what Ruth meant to each and every one of us, her family members.  Ruth was the heart of compassion.  She was a lion in the cause of Justice.  Her departure leaves a tremendous hole in our lives.